Jack Kerouac, as Sal Paradise once said: "I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion." And I think that's a rather apt description of my blog over the years, and perhaps the most perfect description of me in general that I've ever read. So that's what this blog is, a collection of the falling stars that are beckoning me at any time.

12 January 2006


Garrgh. I'm really frustrated today, actually I expect the frustration to go on for awhile. BasicallyI've been told that there's pretty much no way I'm going to get my vacation request. I knew that 3 weeks was going to be a bit of a problem with the stupid way we're staffed. I mean as is if a cashier gets sick or whatever you pretty much have to work anyway unless someone takes pity on you and works a double. He claims he's going to talk to the owners, but I think we all know they won't want to work out a solution, hell they've illegally taken money out of Mary's paycheque twice for credit card errors.

What frustrates me about it is it puts me in a position where I either have to delay my holiday until I've enough to be able to afford looking for a new job when I I get back or waiting until I've got enough to just combine holiday with move. I don't know whether I've mentioned it, but I'm planning to move to London now that I've got my degree. I'm a dual citizen so at it's heart it's kind of on par for me with movieng to New York, at least as far as the picking up and throwing myself into a swim or drown position. The only really annoying problem/difference being that in that initial relocating stage my money is only worth about half as much so it takes twice as long to raise the sums I need to secure that I'll have a place to live and the raw necessities whilst I find even the most temporary of jobs.

And I admit that what I find most frustrating of all is that it's going to mean further delay in getting to meet Ben face to face. At this rate even if I only put it off long enough for the find a new job here buffer cash option we'll have been talking to each other for more than a year before we meet.

why can't I ever just have a plan run smoothly?

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