a day I actually did something

Today I was actually productive. i finished all the needed stuff on my passport application and it is now bound for the British Embassy; I got my alumni membership to the HPER building so I can start going to the gym; I finished distributing the last of my type for my projects last semester (now if I only get off my arse and start carving the lino for the title page and colophon and the folder so the collaboration project will be done.); I cleaned out my soulseek incoming folder so my music is all neatly categorised again, (for now)

My mother said my US Passport photo made me look like a terrorist. I wouldn't go that far, I do think it looks like on par with the Nick Nolte mug shot, so you can imagine that I don't want a repeat of that on my British Passport. I had to get 3 sets of passport photos before I got one that didn't look unreasonably bad, I mean I'm not expecting a good shot it is a passport after all, but seriously nick nolte mugshot and the second set I was orange, I looked Indian (and I am one of the whitest white girls, usually when I'm in flash photography I glow like a flourescent tube I'm so white and reflective) I know it'll be cut off when it's actually in the passport, but I was amused that I was wearing my new threadless 'Communist party' t-shirt and you can even see Lenin with his birthday party hat on the photo.

I decided I'm going to try to try to sew myself some skirts because I hate most of the ones I run across at the stores. Plus it will force me to learn the sewing machine instead of hand sewing everything. So I bought a pattern for a simple A line skirt and also this skirt since the vogue patterns were 75% off. It's probably going to end up being a skirt that looks good on anyone but my body type, but it's kind of simple yet quirky which is definitely my style.

I went to Taste for a belated lunch and had edamame and a really good coconut chicken salad.

3 feet from visionary brillinace

today was the opening of the museum show that one of my books appears in. The whole exhibit looks great and the space is so well designed it really surprised me to hear that Father William designed the gallery space himself. I never though of priests of being so in tune with good museum layout. You learn something new every day I guess. There was a really good turn out too, which I'm happy about becuase Frances, Tammy and Bonnie put in so much work on it so I'm glad it's a success for them.

The Joslyn loaned some pieces for the show, including an original William Blake piece. So I can actually say I've been in an exhibition with William Blake! the peice is actually like maybe 3 feet away from my book.

I decided that I want to try to go to a real restaurant once a week and have a nice meal, I eat so much cheap crap all the time, and it's so hard to cook when it's just me and I'm terrible about not eating leftovers. I pretty much just eat special K for breakfast and dinner and then something like cheese and crackers while at work. So I figure I can splurge on one good meal a week. I went to Jaipur today and had some good Indian food. I was going to have vindaloo to try to kill myself with spicyness, but the vindaloo has an onion base (and I was so impressed that my waiter actually took it upon himself to check with the cook to see if it was made with onions when I mentioned that I was allergic, I'm so used to finding out the hard and itchy way that something has onions in it. He got a 25% tip from me.) so I had something else that the waiter suggested that was totally onion free. I can't rememer what it was, but it was excellent also I had some naan bread with mint chutney.

time for plan B

so vacation request formally denied. Time to come up with brilliant B plans. Right now I'm leaning toward just up and moving combined with vacation. There's something that seems pointless about shelling out for holiday compning back and then trying to save up for a move. Mainly because the time it will take to raise the relocation funds means that it's not like I can pin down a flat or job for myself while on holiday, so why not just go on holiday with no intention of coming back? I know it frustrates me greatly that it's going to be that much longer til I get to see Ben, but if it's meant to end up more than an internet friendship/mutual crush then a few more months shouldn't make us go off each other right? And if that dread fear happens and e meets some hot girl who actually lives in his postal code before I do then it's not like it will be the first time I've ever missed out on an amazing guy to someone else (not like that rationalisation will make it feel any less like a piledriver if it happens, but I like rationalising things til they look manageable)

So my B plan is to look into getting a job temping (because temps make more money than I do) and possibly doing one of those couple week bartending schools and getting a parttime job bartending. Then not only would I make the 6K I need faster, but I'd also get some office and bartending experience for the CV which should help get an interim pay-the-rent job while I try to get myself a advertising or design position once I've moved.

I need to do something creative soon, I'm boring myself. I'm thinking about joining the printmaker's guild and paying for usage of the facilities for a few months. (maybe I can even sneak in some time figuring out the litho press)

holidays are a nuisance

Every errand I need to run on my day off this week ahs been completely thwarted due to my day off being Monday rather than Tuesday, mainly because today is also another damn federal holiday. No post office. No UNO library to remove my last hold againt being mailed my diploma. No UNO offices to pay for an alumni membership to the HPER building so I can go to the gym. And the person I need to see so I can get the countersignatory signatures on my passport photos for my British passport so I can get the application mailed in is out sick today. (You see the British government is logical, unlike America who has a postal clerk countersign your idetification photo affirming that you are you by looking at your drivers license for a British passport the countersignatory has to be a person who has known you at elast 2 years and has a certain level of professional status, but is not related to you. So like a member of the clergy or a doctor or teacher or such. That's what my problem has been becuase I've moved around so much that finding someone who has a suitable profession and has known me at least 2 years has been problematic. I've tried to stick to finding someone who has one of the professions listed on the form instructions even though my father swears that they don't honestly pay attention to that, they're more concerned that someone's affirming you are you, but I'm already short of the 'person should be a British subject' instruction as the only British citizens I know available to sign the photos and document are related to me. )

frustration

Garrgh. I'm really frustrated today, actually I expect the frustration to go on for awhile. BasicallyI've been told that there's pretty much no way I'm going to get my vacation request. I knew that 3 weeks was going to be a bit of a problem with the stupid way we're staffed. I mean as is if a cashier gets sick or whatever you pretty much have to work anyway unless someone takes pity on you and works a double. He claims he's going to talk to the owners, but I think we all know they won't want to work out a solution, hell they've illegally taken money out of Mary's paycheque twice for credit card errors.

What frustrates me about it is it puts me in a position where I either have to delay my holiday until I've enough to be able to afford looking for a new job when I I get back or waiting until I've got enough to just combine holiday with move. I don't know whether I've mentioned it, but I'm planning to move to London now that I've got my degree. I'm a dual citizen so at it's heart it's kind of on par for me with movieng to New York, at least as far as the picking up and throwing myself into a swim or drown position. The only really annoying problem/difference being that in that initial relocating stage my money is only worth about half as much so it takes twice as long to raise the sums I need to secure that I'll have a place to live and the raw necessities whilst I find even the most temporary of jobs.

And I admit that what I find most frustrating of all is that it's going to mean further delay in getting to meet Ben face to face. At this rate even if I only put it off long enough for the find a new job here buffer cash option we'll have been talking to each other for more than a year before we meet.

why can't I ever just have a plan run smoothly?

back from end of semester insanity

Well I'm finally back. I really didn't mean to disappear for so long and desert this blog, but like I said I practically live in the art building at the end of a semester and being that this one was my final semester I was putting extra pressure on myself. But all of those 72 hours with no sleep stints and sleeping on the concrete floor in the storage closet for 3 hours here and there was worth it, after 10 and a half years I finally have my degree. Now comes the worst part; trying to turn that degree into a job in the design or advertising field. Not to mention that I want to move to London (which is not really any harder than say moving to New York in that I'm also a British citizen because my father is, so it's notexactly immigrating it's just relocating) Everytime I try to decide what my portfolio is going to need to have I feel sheer terror well up, I think that's why I stayed in academia so long I hate selling If I were a car or soft drink I could just come up with some funny idea for a commercial. I think it's a lot easier to fool somebody into choosing one brand of spaghetti over another than it is to sell yourself as an employee.

My edition book for this semester turned out amazing, even better I think than i had envisioned it. It's been curated into an exhibition on the history of bookarts that's going to be running in conjunction with a travelling exhibit of an Illuminated bible that's going on at the Joslyn museum later this month. I'm excited as hell about that. I need to figure out how to best photograph it so I can post it up here.

I also sold my first print at the student art show, so the end of this semester has been really great for me and ego rewarding.

I really want it to be March so I can go visit Ben and get some kind of concrete idea of whether we get on in real life and whether or not there might be a possibility of some kind of future for us. I think the thing is that I like him enough from our emails and our phone conversations that I sort of feel in a limbo about it all, it's weird.

must... stop... progress... of...time

We have officially entered the part of the semester where I spend every ounce of time not spent working or unconcious in the pressroom. hell this semester there's even a plan in place to spend the unconscious hours in the pressroom. Ashley, Frances and I are comandeering the storage closet as sleeping quarters.

I'm now 2/3 done with my 'he's the hammer' stationary project. The press I'm using has some kind of goo on it that's not allowing for proper ink cleanup so I'm worried that it's going to fuck my last run. I was hoping to get the last 250 or so sheets pressed tomorrow, but if the purple from this last run starts bleeding into the green I've got to pull tomorrow it might seriously set back my projection.

I might actually get 'celebrity wedding' done in time for the critique on Tuesday, I've managed never to miss a deadline this semester, but this one is pushing it, it's definitely the most hateful project this semester. I think I gave myself nerve damage cutting all those damn pages out of plexiglass. and I still haven't managed to find the caulk I need or to drill the holes for the string lights.

Definitely feeling the end of the semester stress. so many giant projects and so little time.

The student art show is next week and I still haven't settled on what pieces I'm putting in. I think the osteocyte painting and the print of the freedom fighters on horseback for sure but I'm not sure on what else. Can we just add like 3 more weeks to November?

swaps galore

okey dokey, here is where I catch up on talking about the swap stuff that I'm so woefully behind on talking on.

Blogging by Mail 2; the real reason I've been so behind on gushing about this is that I can't figure out where I put the damn postcards that included the idenity of my partner so I can't properly give thanks or credit until I find them. This is the curse of being a sometimes disorganised person living in too small an area in a house with a really really unorganised, messy and borderline hoarder person ( I have this theory that one day if I live either on my own in a place that has adequate storage and space for my possessions or with someone who is neat to a fault and have adequate storage I will actually be a very neat and organised person, because I was practically anal about things being where they belonged and in order in the various stores I worked in and in the shack at my current job. and though I've always had a messy room I still maintain that a very large reason for that is that I don't have adequate room to live and work and store things in a place that is just theirs and I end up feeling in the face of all that that I might as well just not care at all. I know I know excuses excuses) But anyway, my partner was from Georgia and he sent me some amazingly good chocolate mousse cookies and some gourmet chocolates from a local chocolatier and a couple jars of peach chutney and a bag of grits and recipes for said cookies and chutney. The theme was good stuff from Georgia. And when I find the damn postcards (depicting of course tourist shots from Georgia) then I will properly credit him and send him some thank yous.

Next on the agenda-- Backtack

I did actually finished by the 31st but I didn't get it mailed by then because I kept having to be at work or school during the hours the post office was open. But I went to school late on Thursday and mailed it


I think that my oliver octopus bag came out pretty close to how I envisioned it. I'll probably make a few tweaks to it if I decide to sell them if I ever get bonjour miette going. I'd like to make him more round so he doesn't look as much like a jellyfish. He was a big hit with the people in my bookbinding class where I spent a lot of time working on him (I have no workspace at home so if I ever have projects to do I always end up just going to the book lab where I spend half my life anyway for class at night to do them.)


so for the kit, my person mentioned embroidery so I got her a shit ton of floss, a hoop (I like that kind way better than the ones you have to tighten) a couple of iron on classic embroidery patterns of kittens and then because I'm not much of a traditional design person I got her some pattern transfer paper and some line drawings of cute animals and a couple of my own line drawings of sea creatures and of course dead guy becuase who doesn't want to embroider deadguy the lovable beret wearing skeleton on their tea towel? I also got her some floss bobbins, a pack of embroidery needles and one of those little wheels to use the transfer paper. Oh and also a blank book with a Japanese stab binding. Hopefully she likes it.

As for my backtack goodies, A Susi had me and she sent me a gorgeous tote bag full of roving and needles to start learning to needle felt.

that's her picture of what she sent I was lazy and just hosted a copy myself, since her photo looks nicer than the one I took. I'm quite glad I participated in backtack I had a lot of fun and it got me to get off my ass and make that bag.

I'd sworn I wasn't going to get into another swap until after the semester was done so I wouldn't over extend myself worrying about so many deadlines, but I've signed up for another one anyway at purple pink and orange for the november craft swap, but I figure I can send blank books, so it's already connected to what I'm doing in school anyway, I'll just make extras and it will be all good. but seriously no more until the semester is over. I really mean it this time.

back like a bad 80s fad

I've been so absent from the web this month, and it's not just been lacking time there's been a real lack of desire on my part ot write a damn thing, which is odd. Perhaps it's that the daily letter correspondance takes away my need to hash out my life in blog form or perhaps there has just been a real malaise over me from financial and job woes. But, if that's the case my friends I think the tide is turning. I completely did not get the casino job I was up for when last I wrote here. In fact I felt the whole experience of being turned down for the job slightly dehumanising as you're not only not given any sort of idea of the reason they passed on you, but you don't even get to find out from a person, you have to call a phoneline and have a robot tell you to sod off.

I have however managed to find another job, the pay is the same as my old job which isn't the greatest, but it is infinitely closer to my house and they won't dick me around on my hours which offsets that. So now I'm working as a cashier at one of the longterm parking lots at the airport. This is my last week at Kwik shop and my first at the lot, I've only given kwik shop one week's notice instead of my customary polite 2 weeks or more, but really I don't feel bad about it in the slightest because of the way I've been jerked around. Today there was supposed to be a staff meeting at 8am becuase they're getting a new manager and I just clocked out and left instead of staying (there didn't seem much point to me in hanging around) and the district manager (the one I can't stand and fantasize nightly about quitting nad stranding to finish my shift. it's true I like to imagine that I were a not so reliable and conscientious person) was like where are you going and I said "well it's my last week, so I don't see the point in staying. and she was like 'what?' and I said "I quit Thursday is my last day.' and she said 'so we're not getting 2 weeks?' and I just paused for about 2 seconds then said 'nope. I gave one.' and left. And this was in front of the rest of the staff. It was such a wonderful bouyant feeling. That's when you know you've hated a job way more than you should have had to, that airless feeling knowing that you don't have to worry about any of the bullshit anymore. I have 2 nights left and it's oh so nice.

The new job is pretty cush too. I can read or do homework or bind books or watch dvds or whatever in my little booth between customers (tonight I plan to try to finish the scarf I'm making for Ben which is now a definitely belated brithday present. (I had to debate for a moment on whether to knit him one since I've always felt that somehow a gift of the knitted variety has heavy connotations, I don't know where I got this idea since I think perhaps it's really only sweater knitting that has sort of the possessive connotations when you do it for someone of your preferred dating gender that you like. (not that I wouldn't like to have the kind of position to say back off bithces he's mine with a scarf :)) but no matter how daydreamy and hopeful I can sometimes become I like to remain grounded in the reality of the situation so I don't want to send such an implication, but in the end I thought, well the whole scarf hunt he's been on conversation tipped the balance in favour of the scarf knitting so that's that.)

stay tuned for gushing (yes quite belatedly) on the package I got from my blogging by mail partner. I've just realised that I didn't give a shout out to him, g-d I've been a terrible interneteer in October.

malaise

where have I been? I don't even know anymore. I'm feeling grouchy and malcontent today. It's been another trying weekend and I've another miserable evening of work ahead of me. Tomorrow I have an interview at the casino for a job as a security observer, but I'm not feeling highly confident that I've even got a chance at getting it as I've no experience in security or loss prevention other than your basic retail look for shoplifters to scare them out of doing it. One has to try though I guess. I have to get some other job, my paycheque was only 140 again this week, at this rate I'll never pay off my tuition let alone do that and raise the needed money to go to the UK to see Ben.

I'm just really frustrated lately.

I baked by stuff to send to my blogging by mail partner, but I'm not sure whether I think they came out great or not. They smell good and look okay, but I wasn't very happy with how the crust came out to even put in the pan, I'll definitely have to imporvise on what the recipe calls for next time I make them. It's a vegan recipe so I should have thought in advance that I was going to have to add something to counteract the dryness that every vegan baked good recipe I've ever made seems to be cursed with. That dryness is almot always totally counteractable so I don't get why no one ever seems to build it into the recipe. I think I forgot about it because I'd already rendered it not vegan by using butter anyway (I can't stand margarine I think it tastes disgusting on top of being just as bad for you as butter anyway) I'd proabably think they were good enough, but checking out my partner's blog they're a bit of a foodie, so I feel inadequate off the startblock. So I'll be getting that off in the post along with some food inspired mix cds tomorrow and then the only thing I'll have left to focus on is back tack. oh wait and a mail art thing and a zine project, and all the book arts projects for school. ...oh for a simple life.

You know I miss Ben, that doesn't make any sense, how can you miss someone that you've never actually met? But the distinct feeling is missing. I think the feeling of longing, or being lonely those are totally different emotional sensations from that of missing and for some reason the feeling I have is not that of someone who's met someone online and chatted for months and really can't wait to meet them, it's one of someone who's been separated a great distance and can't wait to get back in the same room with someone else. I don't know if the fact that that's the way I feel should scare me or worry me or should be some good omen. all I know is that 3 and a half months seems like an excrutiatingly long time and the thought that it could be longer due to shitty finances is the most depressing thing ever just now.

I was going to write about this really great Hungarian film I just saw, but I think i'll leave that for another post.

mix madness

I've gotten 2 more dual disc debacle mixes in the post today,yay.

this means that so far I've gotten the following mixes:

Sophomore Mix from Jenny B with the nice note included. This mix I have listened to because I got it over a week ago, but have just been remiss about mentioning it here (sorry Jenny) It's a great mix with lots of British invasion sound. Also I had forgotten how much I liked the Dead Kennedys' California Uber Alles, until it came on while I was walking from the shuttle lot up to campus (that's my idea of exercise of late parking all the way over there but not taking the shuttle and just walking. )

Today I got Raquel from Portugal's Portugese sounds with the gloriously cool cover art, which I shall be listening to tonight. And I also got Cindy from California's cds.

my room is in desparate need of cleaning it's really awful, I've just been sort of lietting it go to pot because I've been sleeping upstairs in the tv room all summer and now it's a fright, and I've got to figure out how to get to the bed to sleep this weekend becuase my uncle Gwill will be in town from Wales this weekend starting tomorrow. I'm quite excited to see him, it's been over a decade since I last have actually thinking on how old I am now it may have actually been 2 decades since I've seen him. My family never gets to see our relatives, which is another reason I'm keen on going to the UK after graduation, though more and more it's quite detirmined in my mind that I am not just going for a visit, but moving. and yes damnit Ben has a lot to do with the fact that I've made up my mind that way, but even if somehow we didn't hit it off in person the way we do in email and phonecall, I'd still want to move falling madly in smit is just the kind of thing that catalyses one to stop skittering around ideas and actually try to go for them. I've been purposely vague about my intentions to my family, though I think my dad has gotten a suspicion that I'm sersiouly considering a move overseas and I think in a round about way he thinks it's a good idea (though I think he thinks it will make me all rah rah america, well I know they think that I don't have a clue about how life in other countries is, but the fact is that I do, I've never thought that anywhere had an idyllic life there are pros and cons to every place, and I do pay attention to foreign news sources to see what those are. )

hooky

I should be in advanced fiction studio right now, but I'm not, I stayed put in my chair in the computing lab. I'd done my work, my assinine set of questions for the manuscripts going today, but I just didn't feel like going. I just hate that class, it sucks all the joy out of life and it shouldn't. I used to love my fiction studios at Emerson, but I think that's because the professors at Emerson were awesome and not full of self-importance the way this professor is. This professor turns the emphasis off people working on their writing, off them improving in whatever voice and topic they happen to have, makes it about joylessness and her idea of what she wants to read. There are the same share of career workshoppers, they're everywhere that pompous, pretentious breed of writers who can't shut up about their experiences through writing and how somehow, someway everything anyone can ever write or think relates back to them. Who always have the same points of view as the professor, no matter that the last time you had a class with them they did the same thing, only the professor had opposite views; always belabour over some obvious point, some error of structure, as though it were the most important thing in the universe and they just can't get past it; who feign what has to be fake obtuseness about the meanings of absolutely clear things as though they get and are picking up on what it is you are trying to make but they refuse to attribute it to your intention as though you were making a mistake and somehow they are so clever that they're pointing it out to you so you can fix it. I hate these fuckers, but I rest assured in the belief that they are the airless sort who will never make it out of acadamia because that is the only place that such utter bullshit is ever thought or humoured. I know that it's true because half of the types of things that they'd never get or would have had a fieldday trying to change is the sort of thing that's not only published, but becomes an underground hit, a sensation amongst people with half a mind. So bI'm not going to class. I have 2 unexcused abscences a semester and I'm taking one of them right now and I'm not sorry. I didn't have a particular desire to discuss the manuscripts for this week anyway, I was mostly unwowed. Has there been an ebb in people who want to do edgy in university? A failed spectacular attempt is more desirable to me than a half successful bit of boring.

woohoo mixology

hah I have finally got my dual disc debacle discs ready to post, they'd actually be there already only the mailers I bought to mail them in it appears are too narrow for my packaging, oops. So i've got to buy new ones tomorrow.

Sure I could wait to post details, but no one knows who I have so it will still be a surprise and besides I'm quite proud of how the packaging turned out, it was such a pain in the ass.


here is a shot of each of the sideseach disc nestles into the centre of a bomb. Up top on the fuse is an accordian book of the tracklisting with a little slip around then to keep them flat when you don't want to look at them.


this is a close-up of one of the accoridan books.

They'd obviously look better if I had the blackcore foam board instead of having to use a sharpie to colour whiteboard black, also if I had a proper saw to cut the board my utility knifes were all either too dull to work well or too flimsy.

The tracks:

red wire......................................green wire
future sounds of london- dead cities.............st thomas- railroad
deltron 3030- mastermind.........................the dears- who are you defenders
rem- oddfellows local 151....................................of the universe
mountain goats- lion's teeth.....................aisler's set- mission bells
girls against boys- she's lost control...........beat happening- bad seeds
mclucsky- to hell with good intentions...........relaxed muscle- let it ride
leonard cohen- first we take manhattan...........madrugada- come on home to me
the faint- psycho killer.........................sneaker pimps- blue movie
toure kunde- in the air tonight..................girls against boys- 300 looks for
alizee- moi lolita...........................................................summer
cat power- crossbones style......................lois- charles atlas
mountain goats- dilaudid.........................the organ- brother
arab strap- flirt................................ariel pinks haunted graffiti- jules
jarvis cocker- a cheat...............................................lost his jewels
mirah- the garden................................tigers & monkeys- somethings
fischerspooner- just let go..............................................got to give
mirah- apples in the trees.......................young marble giants- brand
.................................................mountain goats- alpha rats nest
.................................................amazing pilots- price of winter
.................................................slumber party- black heart road
.................................................dufus- wrinkle
.................................................stephen jones- we all make the
.......................................................................flowers grow

don't worry about me, I'm just being murdered over here

If there was ever any question that I am quitting my job post haste it has been answered. Last night somtime during second shift (presumably at the time when the sun went down and they became necessary) the canopy lights shut off plunging the parking lot into pitch blackness. The electrician of contract either didn't feel like coming in, or no one bothered to call him, actully more likley fucking bitch district advisor decided that it wasn't necessary to call electrician to come in until morning, and the brilliant solution ot the problem of no lights on in the parking lot and looking pretty closed from the street was that the lights override should be used, since that will turn the lights on for 45 minutes in case of storms where it gets dark dirng the day. Now this is a stupid idea of a solution for an entire night because you can't push the pverride until the lights shut off, the lights will not come back up again from the override for at least half and hour to 45 minutes becuase they have to cool down completely before they will turn back on, Or worse, and what happened to me is the lights will shut down and even after they've cooled they won't turn back on. I was stuck by myself, alone, from 1:30 am until 5:45 am surrounded on all sides by pitch black parking lot, with no customers coming in becuase people thought we were closed for some reason, in a not so good neighbourhood. (Now the neighbourhood is not the quasi compton that some people in the are would have you believe, and I'm not really concerned working there overnight on normal days, it's well lit and busy enough that there aren't big periods of time where no one is around, but the 48th and Q, where the neighbourhood is really bad and not all that long ago soething really unpleasant happened to the night clerk to the point that the regulars still come in my store concerned that I'm on single coverage and make a point to come in and check on me if they just came to fill up outside and don't see me at the register becuase I'm in the back cleaning or something, is only a couple of blocks south of me)

What makes me more livid about it is that the disctrict advisor knew about the lack of lights, knew that the 3rd shift is a lone female, and was more concerned about the $10 in sales that we might still get. What was the point of leaving me in a position where if the worst did happen and a robber came in or a rapist and I got shot or stabbed and couldn't get to the phone to call the paramedics after it was over? I'd bleed to death before a customer showed up to find me becuase they all thought we were closed becuase of no lights? I had maybe 5 customers the whole shift, they can't have even produced enough of a profit to pay for my shitty low wage for those hours.

If I'd really thought about it before the shift change was complete I would have said 'oh hell no I'm not working here by myself.' but I didn't, not until the lights didn't come back on from the override timing out and by then it was too late.

But this is certainly, if not my last week, very damn close to it.

my job makes me need to be leisure class

It's been a pretty lousy day, the only thing I actually got accomplished from my list was my passport application. I was pretty livid when I went to go get my schedule for this week (this week started today) and my checque at 2:30 and not only was there no checque yet, but there wasn't a schedule. Just stepping foot in that place puts me in a bad mood. I really don't want to go back tonight for my shift. they aren't even giving me near what my hours are supposed to be. I'm beginning to think that I'd be better off even working at some damn fast food place. One of these days I'm probably just going to snap and quit, the only reason I haven't is because i've so many other expenses that I can't really afford to go unemployed while I go about getting another job.

In happier news, my correspondance with Ben contiues to be brilliat. If I weren't already totally smitten with him anyway I would certainly have become so after the following little diatribe on typfaces:

' I have a thing about fonts, which is probably another vestigial trace of the calligraphist in me. I'm just coming out of a big apathy for serif fonts, as I've realised I quite like century schoolbook. I'm digging century gothic right now, and always, always hating copperplate. If I see anything in copperplate I automatically despise it. And I like plain sans serifs, but helvetica is fucking boring and I hate it (although I adore Futura). If fonts were people, helv would be an accountant. Copperplate would be the fat american guy with just-for-men hair who wants to haggle over an 'antique' that's actually a reproduction with a barcode on the lable. Comic sans is the Downs Syndrome guy wearing dungarees and a hat with a propellor on the top (believe it or not I actually saw such a person in a shop in Norwich). Futura and Cooper are current faves.'

it's pure genius.

I also got my fabric to make the bag I'm making my back tack person today. The guy at the fabric shop assured me it said squid loud and clear, so we shall see.

fortunately it's friday, maybe I can catch up now

Malteasers are the worst invention in the world, and when I say worst I mean the absolute best candy ever, therefore the worst because they hijack your sense of moderation. Luckily the bag shall soon be gone and I won't have to think about whether I can prevent myself from melting anymore of them on the roof of my mouth. Unfortunately there are still several large milk bars yet untouched. It probably wouldn't be so bad did I not miss good British candy so much that Ben's package of sugary confectionary goodness makes me feel like a 5 year old on halloween. It's so sweet too because he felt guilty about sending so much sugar that he also sent a tube of a toothpaste that's not available in the states. The distance to the end of year seems longer everyday I swear.

I got my passport photos yesterday and they look frighteningly like some bad celebrity mugshot ridiculed on Conan. I'm starting to develop a theory that the more important the identification paper the worse the photo will be. At least you can smile in driver's licenses.

I'm just here finisheing up my dual disc debacle mix, I've run out of time to make separate mixes for everyone, I've just had too much to do with school. Speaking of school, my damn linoleum better be in at Dick Blick today, I really, really need to get started cutting. It seems early in the semester now, but with so many different cuts to make it's actually late.

When I was hunting for something to shove in my lunch kit for lunch at the grocery I ran across these new connoisseur cheese spreads, I tried the brie and oh man am I hooked. They also have gorgonzola and asiago so I think I shall have to give them a try too. I so love cheese.

the weekend is almost upon me

So I've been getting a lot of spam as comments and I've had to turn on word verification. That's pretty sad, actually it's sad because I don't get a lot of comments so I'd see the "youve got a comment email in my inbox and be all secited and then it would be about penis enlargement cream or something and I'd be sad becuase I don't even have a penis to enlarge. (not that I'd want a penis, but at least they could tailor the spam to fit my gender circumstances you know, I'd like to feel like I'm really being courted as a demographic for my spam.)

I've got to make a concertina book for binding class this weekend, I've decided to be too creative for mere paper and make it out of balsa wood. that whould be fun.

A little survey for my mysterious backtack partner: (I'm so excited about this whole thing it's going to be so much fun)


Which craft have you always wanted to pursue, but just haven't been able to
find the time, etc., to explore? needle felting

Fave colors? blues, dutch fireball red (I'm surprised I'm not listing pantone numbers here :) that ink is about the nicest shade of red i've seen though) and that darkish yellow green colour that seems a cousin of both lime and olive. I don't care much for yellow. Yellow is definitely my least favourite colour.

Do you prefer to make functional items or do you make decorative items as
well? I think I tend to be more functional, I've always been the one who used things that you weren't really supposed to: the tiny ornate guest soaps, the heirloom quilt, the throw pilloe. In fact I've always fancied the idea of getting some of those silly franklin mint plates from a tag sale or something and then serving dinner off them because I think it would be kind of fun to finish my rice and have Scarlet at Tara or Elvis at Graceland appear from underneath. Also because it would apall Franklin Mint collectors everywhere.

Fave artists or designers?
I love Mark Rothko, Maija Fiebig, Edvard munch, Umberto Boccioni (at least the states of mind series) I pretty much love anything produced by Alessi as well as koziol. I like minimalist and modern with bits of whimsy thrown in for contrast.

Natural world or ethereal realm? natural world. I don't like faires and dragons and that sort of thing at all. owls, bears and octopi are where it's at.

Fuzzy, shiny, sparkly or clean-lines? clean lines. I'm definitely not a sparkly person, but furry and shiny have thier places in moderation.

50's, 60's, 70's, 80's or another era? Why? I like the 20s because I've always had a thing for flappers and especially Louise Brooks. I like the reckless fun, the defiant whimsy and the stubborn naivete of the era. I like the late 30s-mid 40s becuase I love the smart lines of the clothes and that's when all the great screwball comedies were made. And I've always had a great affinity for the 50s as depicted in the illustrations of chidren's books of that era, it's one of the very clear childhood memories of why I loved books when I was growing up, looking at the illustrations in children's books of etiquette and party giving as well as novels for kids like 'Gone Away Lake' and 'the Rock Hounds'

Hand-made or machine made? handmade. I can be ridiculously anti-deluvean at times, but I like that last little hold out against technology, it maks me feel like I could still cope if the word's computers crashed.

Computer or good ole paper and graphite? definitely paper and graphite. for the same reasons

Anything else you'd like me to know about you??? Hmm... I don't know... I can't roll my tongue into that little u tube thing even though everyone in my family can and I hear that's a genetic trait.

self portrait tuesday

my favourite area of the body is the area from the earlobe to the clavicle. I've a weakness for a nice throat. I think it's the most underrated erogenous zone. It is fascinatingly complicated and graceful the muscles and tendons.

I'm no wage faust

what is the deal with companies who expect you to sell yourself into slavery to work for them? I went to apply for a wharehouse job order picking for a large novelty company here because they pay way more than the job I have now which isn't cutting it when it comes my current expenses (in the next 13 weeks I have to pay my tuition, pay for a us passport so that I can pay for my British passport [for some reason because I've never had either passport and I'm living in the US I have to send in a copy of my US passport in order to get my British one processed which, if you ask me is silly because I have the necessary documents to prove my claim to British citizenship and damn it I didn't enter this country on a passport I was born here. I don't even want a US passport, if I'm going to travel the world I'm better off using my British one anyway. so it seems like a big waste of money to have to pay the fees to get one), get an eye exam and pay for new specs, buy plane tickets to the UK for after graduation. and on a cheque of only $200 a week, that's just not cutting it.) I went through all the application rigamarole but couldn't get the job because there are 3 nights from now until the end of December that I am unavailable to work. 3 nights. not 3 nights a week, not even three nights in the same week, one's a tuesday in a couple weeks, one's a wednesday in October and the other is a Saturday in October, that's not even the xmas busy season, whatthe fuck. I left a bit pissed, but in a way glad because any company that thinks it owns you that much is probably the shittiest place on earth to work for, so the new job hunt continues.

I need to finish my labyrinth book for my binding class tonight, but now that I've decided to make it a double book, I seem to be stuck on a second poem for the other side. I hit the jackpot at the friends of the library book sale, I found this old yellow plastic national geographic box full of maps, it's so awesome, so I cut one into a labyrinth book for my class project. It was a map of north american bird migrations with the migration route on one side and just a map of the americas on the other, on the side that mostly opens on the regular maps I used Gord Downie's 'Nothing but heartache in your social life' for the text, and I needed to take it home to tweak a couple of things anyway, but I thought I needed to put a different poem on the side with the migration map but I'm having a time finding the right one.

I got my first mixes from the Dual Disc Debacle today in the post, I totally wasn't expecting that at all yet. Now I feel quite behind. It's good because I'll have something to listen to at school tomorrow.

I'm such a damn kid at the core I saw these disposable utensils at the supermarket and had to buy them to put in my lunch kit instead of bringing the good silverware

I'm so addicted to cute things, even though I've tried to get away from hello kitty now that she is obnoxiously trendy and adorning half of target, I still am a sucker for cute. I sort of went over to san-x once the onslaught of mainstream hit.

Tomorrow Ben and I are to have a proper phone conversation (meaning landline to landline as he's only regularly got a cell and one from a totally different area than he's living in and the reception is awful so up til now there have been lot of 2 minute calls back to back as the calls keep getting dropped mid sentance. Also the lag calling between the countries is awful, you'd think that by 2005 in two very modern and advanced techonogically western countries this wouldn't be a problem.

just some random babblings

Time to focus again all these brilliant swaps I've signed up for are finally rolling so I've got to stop neglaecting the land of blog.

I was thinking of doing 5 entirely different double mixes for the dual disc debacle making certain that no one gets the same mix, I'm not sure whether or not I'll feel quite so ambitiouss over the next couple of days, whilst I am crafting the musical awesomeness, It will actually probably be easier to come up with 10 discs of music rather than narrowing my insanely extensive collection down to two.

I'm thinking of making some lovely apricot-date bars for my blogging by mail pal, probably becaue I've been having a jones for them of late so they sound like a good idea. That or divinity, but I know if I make divinity I'll end up eating a bunch of it and that will totally ruin my diet.

And of course I've got to get busy lurking on my back tack buddy's blog to find out what to make a kit on. I suppose logically that would mean I really ought to start posting in here more to give ideas to whoever has me.

I went to see Me, You and Everone we Know, yesterday. My friends at the cinema kept telling me about all the people who walked out because of some of the content, so stupid. It was such a beautiful film and in fact all the content these puritans found objectionable was really tame by today's standards and were quite funny. well too bad for them I guess, they missed the rest of a lovely film.

The aristocrats opens this coming week-end and I am definitely all about seeing it. Also it's nice to know the guy who pretty much runs the cinema so my poor student ass doens't have to pay admission. I've got to find a new job, everyone's hours have gotten cut at my current one and I wasn't making enough money to pay my tuition as it was, now I'm really past broke. The job sucked anyway because we were so ridiculously mircromanaged that I half expect some Simon Legree to pop out whip in hand if ever I dare to go to the washroom on my shift. I also rather dislike being the only person on from midnight til 8 am. I haven't been robbed yet, but the store about a mile or two down the street has been hit twice in the last couple of months. I think I'm going to apply for seasonal work in the distribution warehouse of a novelty company here doing order picking 3rd shift. Not a terribly exciting job, but with shift differential and incentives you can earn up to 12.73 an hour which is good money, and seasonal probably means up til the new year which is how long I'm planning to be in town anyway, plus if I need to and I'm not a shitty employee then that's the kind of place where I could stay on if I should need to build up some more money in January before I embark to whatever corner of the globe I'll be off to as a graduate.

I put in my linoleum order for my book projects and it's still not in yet, I should have ordered it online, then I would have gotten it in a few business days instead of 2 weeks, it's occurred to me that there are a mere 13 weeks left in the semester, I think I have to finish cutting at least 2 pages of illustrations a week, to be even remotely on track. Yipes! If only I could find a way to harness time where it would go slowly when I need more time to work on things and zip by in two shakes when I don't want to do something. That would be a good thing for someone to invent.